How to support your wife when she is going through the menopause

Feel married to a woman in her early to mid 40s or 50s? You are now on a slippery slope of violent crime. You may already be there. So, the majority of you completely fail to grasp. Others will stall, or reach the ‘off-limits’ sections, labeled ‘here be dragons’. Others will sink. 
 
In one way or the other your dearly beloved is going to experience the menopause, whether you like it or not, you are equally going to experience it with her. She may feel it right at this very moment, staring you down from across the room, full of anger, feeling hatred for you because of the sound that you produce while you sleep. However, if you are not prepared, then the going gets tough or, as you prefer, the sea becomes rough. 
 
Trust me on this. My wife Stephanie is 45 and still actively of childbearing age but she is a perimenopausal woman which is the period leading to menopause. We already have a hormonal history although it can be said that it is in its early stage of development. In failed IVF treatment, she was subjected to a reversible chemical menopause which could be considered as a warm-up to the major event. I am fortunate. It was true; she had been a good teacher. The business she started, Laughology was also one of the first to provide awareness sessions on menopause to companies. Having an expert at the helm steering me I finally had a clue when in the middle of a damn shop, she began to strip and to pant. I am aware (now) that one does not frown or laugh but gently takes her hand bag and supports the layers as they unpeel. 
 
I also understand that each time I am told that I should sleep in the guest room, it does not mean that she is dissatisfied with me; it is just that she cannot sleep well. And that, once in a while, when she is upset at me for some misdemeanour that male partners would easily overlook, the wisest move is to take it on the chin. Do not react. 
 
And this passes year after year, and I know what is in store for her, and I feel only compassion. The impact on mental and physical state can be considered severe. The major task of a partner depends on the ability to comprehend and provide support. 
 
The stats are sobering. In one poll, women separated or divorced said that the menopause is to blame for at least three out of every four divorces. 
 
A typical error that partners commit is not appreciating the extent of the problem and that there are various forms of the menopause in women. 
 
As Dr Samantha Wild,  a women’s health clinical lead at Bupa, says: “We have been taught for decades that menopause is only about hot flushes and at best night sweats and oestrogen influences each and every bodily function so women can have all the physcial symptoms and many of the psychological ones. ” 
 
Gentlemen, forewarned is forearmed. 
 
Her mood might fluctuate 
 
Usually, perimenopause can be termed as the period when the normal hormones regulating menstrual cycles; oestrogen and progesterone begin to vary. These hormones also believed to affect serotonin and GABA which are the neurotransmitters associated with happiness. Lack of these hormones also means a decrease in serotonin levels and this results to increase in anxiety, anger, irritability and sadness. 
 
Sleep also interconnects with the perimenopause and menopause phase, and that increases these occurrences amongst many women.