Best, Worst and Most Awkward Lines at the Al Smith Dinner

The two persons vying for the presidency in one of the most crucial and polarizing US elections in American history attempted to crack jokes at a Catholic charity dinner on Thursday.

Most of the outcomes can be described at least as ambiguous and at most as embarrassing. Well, may be they did not compromise any votes with it. Of course, it cost them a few good laughs.

Ex-President Donald J. Trump and Kamala Harris, the Vice President of America, addressed and performed speeches in front of the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, the Vice President Harris in a recorded message while the former President, Trump in person in a ballroom in Manhattan NY with members of New York’s political and business circles and prominent clergymen.

Mr.Trump read his speech in an apologetic unpolished way, fumbling over political punchlines, personal and bitter grievances, and vulgar and sometimes obscene remarks. He looked most engaged when he was off prompters and not knowing whether to be an insult comedian or merely an insulting comedian.

Ms. Harris was in Wisconsin campaigning in one of the most contested states in the country. Instead, she recorded a video speech on behalf of herself and accompanied the video by appearing next to the actress Molly Shannon in the spooky character of her Catholic schoolgirl character Mary Katherine Gallagher.

The vice president’s absence took some juice out of the occasion, and she became the target of Mr. Trump jeering her for not showing up, as well as the comedian Jim Gaffigan, who portrayed her husband, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota, on “Saturday Night Live.” This was not the first time the candidate we interviewed, in this case Ms. Harris, was absent from the event. Other opponents who did not attend the dinner included Walter F. Mondale, the democrat nominee in 1984. Presidential candidates were not present during the dinner in 1992, 1996 and 2004.

Below I describe the episodes I found informative.

And by far the most subtle reference to the Ten Commandments. As a reminder, Ms. Shannon once told them, ‘thou shalt not bear false witness to thy neighbor,’ but Ms. Harris countered, ‘especially thy neighbor’s election results.’

Greatest evidence that sketch comedy improves from having a live audience. Ms. Harris’s video, several of which failed to register meaning in the room.

It has to be humor to appeal to voters right smack in the battleground state. Ms. Harris, unwilling to make fun of Catholics to Ms. Shannon’s face at a Catholic charity event said, “That’s like saying I’m going to bust on Detroit in Detroit.”

The vast majority are very direct in their messaging to the voter that is squarely in the middle of the political spectrum. Mr. Catholics, you’ve got to vote for me. Trump, growling loudly as he said these words to the voters. You better remember: I’m here, and she’s not.”

Most gracious moment. Mr. Trump, immediately after starting the speech with nice words about the Dems who he named as his enemies many a time including New York Governor Kathy Hochul whom he said only moments after meeting: Good job. It’s not an easy one, is it? But you’re doing all right.”

Least gracious moment: A comedian who is attempting to demean both President Biden, and Ms. Harris at the same time in the following words: “We have someone in the White House who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child. It’s a person that has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever. But enough about Kamala Harris.”

The best running mate ever, Republican. Mr. Gaffigan, making one of the few references of the night to the Republican vice-presidential candidate, Senator JD Vance of Ohio: One has to have a definite stand regarding President Trump; it is hard not to.” You either believe it is Codename: Lovely Loudmouth Brash Boy or you believe he is a sociopath, and you’d like to be his Vice President.

Best running mate list, Democrat. Mr. Trump, referring to a number of misstatements made by the Democratic vice-presidential candidate, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota: “Unfortunately, Governor Walz isn’t here himself But, we do have a representative from Governor Walz with us today. But don’t worry, he’ll say that he was.”

Sleaziest pick of a running mate of all, for the Democrats. Mr. Trump laughing at transgendered people and women saying, “I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying men have periods. But then I met Tim Walz.”

Most honest moment. Mr. Trump: People say I should make a few cracks at my own expense this evening in keeping with tradition. So here it goes. Nope. I’ve got nothing. There’s nothing to say.”

Second-most honest moment. Mr. Trump, explaining one of his favorite rhetorical constructions: For me, I’ve taken to referring to it as the Democrat Party, as that is exactly how it’s referred to in Thailand ‘the Democrat Party.’

I liked one joke too much whose punch line the deliverer didn’t seem to comprehend. Mr. Trump, who made fun attempts at Mayor Eric Adams due to the criminal indictment that charges him of corrupt relationship with Turkey. “Everyone knows the mayor has special diet requirements for himself but as far as a vegan meeting someone who is openly very fond of Turkey, I don’t think that is possible.”

Hasty departure Best Body language: Mr Adams, who beamed amiably as his criminal trial was a source of glee countless times but got out of the room as soon as Mr Trump.

Best in kissing up to the evening’s hosts. Ms. Instead, Shannon said she told Ms. Harris there would be a fact-checker present. “Who?” The vice president asked. “Jesus,” Ms. Shannon said.

Joke that can make you cringe if the subject is cringing. Mr. Gaffigan joking, “President Trump mentioned that migrants steal cats, and eat them.” And if you’re counting at home, this is the second time that grabbing a kitty has been a big part of a campaign. So after a moment of a shocked, awkward silence of the audience he adding, “You know, I was planning on not mentioning that one”.

Joke Trump seemed to like the most. Mr. Gaffigan: “President Biden could not be here tonight. The D.N.C. made sure of that.”

Least charitable act. Mr. Trump, swearing at the city’s former mayor while saying ‘I’m surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight. He was a terrible mayor.” He added, “That’s not comedy. That’s a fact.”

The cringiest joke Mr. Trump made about Emhoff was when, in a bid to discredit Ms. Harris’s husband, he referred to an affair the man had during his first marriage, before stating: “The only piece of advice I would have for her in the event that she wins is not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies.” A few people in the room sighed after he said that, and he continued, “That’s a vile one. These imbeciles who have given me this materials said I am too tough.”

Most biblical joke. Mr. Gaffigan, drawing from Scripture to address Melania Trump, who made a rare appearance on the campaign trail: Jesus Himself said that we need to forgive not seven times, but 77 times. And Melania, you may be the first person to actually get there.”

Stoniest face. Michael R. Bloomberg…[who] appeared to be the most uncomfortable person throughout Mr. Trump’s statements and interventions, looking plain miserable.